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Peacemaking Principles

When dealing with conflict in your life, proactively educate yourself about biblical peacemaking and make every effort to work through conflict privately and directly with the other person. Let these foundational principles be your guide:

1. Go to Higher Ground - Glorify God (1 Cor 10:31)

Remember what is most important during a conflict

  • See conflict as an opportunity to grow and serve others
  • Live out your highest values and beliefs in the midst of conflict
  • Christians should ask “How can I please and honor or God in this conflict?” and “How can I show the same love and mercy that God has shown me?”
  • 2. Get Real About Yourself – Get the Log Out of Your Eye (Matt. 7:3-5)

    Take responsibility for your contribution to a conflict

  • Focus first on your own attitudes, words and actions
  • Check your heart for idols (The desires that turn into demands)
  • Confess Humbly and thoroughly
  • 3. Gently Engage Others - Gently Restore (Gal. 6:1)

    Help others see how they have contributed to a conflict

  • Overlook minor offenses
  • Go with an attitude of love and concern for the other person
  • Talk privately first and then get help if necessary
  • 4. Get Together on Lasting Solutions – Go and Be Reconciled (Matt. 5:23-24)

    Strengthen relationships through genuine reconciliation and agreement

  • Look out for the interests of others
  • Forgive the same way you have been forgiven by God
  • Keep doing what is right, regardless of what the other person does
  • Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Ken Sande (Baker Books, 3d ed., 2003) © Peacemaker® Ministries.