Peacemaking: #8 2021
Aug 24, 2021

August 27, 2021

The Four Promises of Forgiveness

Through forgiveness God tears down the walls that our sins have built, and he opens the way for a renewed relationship with him. This is exactly what we can do when we forgive as the Lord forgives us: We release the person who has wronged us from the penalty of being separated from us. We do not hold wrongs against others, do not think about the wrongs, and do not punish others for them. Therefore, biblical forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises:

  1. “I will not dwell on this incident.”
  2. “I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”
  3. “I will not talk to others about this incident.”
  4. “I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”
  5. “I will not dwell on this incident.”

This is a very important promise, because what you think affects how you feel about people. In other words, I’m not going to let myself stew on what happened. I’m not going to intentionally ruminate over what happened and hold a grudge. Instead, I’m going to consider the matter done and finished in my heart. This is my decision – a decision to forgive.

“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28). Speak well about and to the person who hurt you. Begin to think of things that would help him—and then do them. That is evidence of real forgiveness. When you do these things, you will usually have better feelings about the person.

  1. “I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”

How easy it would be to store away the memory of what someone has done, along with all their other sins and failings.  Then I can use it in a conversation somewhere: perhaps to score points in an argument, or to load their conscience or reputation up with guilt to crush them, or to make myself somehow look ‘better’ than them. This is the opposite of forgiveness. When God forgives you, he promises never to bring up your sin to use against you. In other words, you won’t hear about those sinful attitudes and actions from God again. Love “keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5).

Note:  This doesn’t mean we can never raise something someone has done wrong again.  For example, an ongoing pattern of wrong behavior may need to be addressed – but the key is not to store things away and raise it for the purpose of using it against that person.

  1. “I will not talk to others about this incident.”

If you are like most people, you will be tempted to tell others what someone has done to hurt you. You may want people to feel sorry for you and side with you instead of with the person who mistreated you. This, too, is the opposite of forgiveness. Gossip usually causes more problems between you and others. God teaches us, “Without gossip a quarrel dies down” (Prov. 26:20).

If you are having a hard time dealing with a problem, it is appropriate to ask someone you trust to help you. In that case, you will need to explain the facts and express your feelings about the conflict. This should not be done to gossip, but to get help to solve the problem and save your friendship.

  1. “I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.”

However, for this promise to actually be true in the reality of our relationships, each person needs to have first repented of and owned their part in the breakdown of the relationship and accept the consequences of their actions (including me)!  This means a conversation needs to have taken place – a conversation that we hope will lead to both of us making the necessary apology and commitment to change – and mutual forgiveness extended. And when this happens, the miracle of forgiveness becomes the even greater miracle of a reconciled relationship.

Remember that forgiveness is a choice to make these promises—no matter how you feel. Whenever you forgive those who have hurt you, you show God how much you appreciate his gift of forgiveness to you.

By making and keeping these promises, you can tear down the walls that stand between you and those who have done something wrong to you.” You promise not to dwell on or brood over the problem or to punish by holding the person at a distance. You clear the way for your relationship to develop unhindered by memories of past wrongs. This is exactly what God does for us, and it is what he calls us to do for others.

** In cases of abuse, forgiveness can and should include the establishment of safe boundaries for emotional and physical safety. See  The Peacemaker , pp. 156-7, 284.

If there is someone you need to forgive today, why not begin practicing these four promises?

By Jeridan Dyck 09 Jan, 2024
Happy New Year, TCC! As we prepare for all that God has for TCC this year, we are excited for where and how God is leading us! We, the pastoral team, have been praying and seeking the Lord’s direction for this new year. It seemed good to us and to the Holy Spirit to hold fast to the directions he gave us in the fall which were (1) to continue to implement truly inter-generational worship as a united body, (2) to set out a theme of preparedness for the coming of the Lord (Matthew 24:44-47), (3) and to put attention and effort behind the TCC mission statement, “to be and make disciples.” (Matthew 28:18-20) After a strong summer coming out of Camp TCC, we were excited about the momentum and the theme of readiness. We were eager to implement the Biblical Discipleship Hour (BDH), age-appropriate, biblical education and discipleship. Kids’ hour accommodated 0-5 th grade, Youth BDH, 6 th – 12 th grade, and Adult BDH, college students to pensioners. During the 9:30 service hour, the hope was that families would be able to come to BDH and Kids’ hour to be discipled in the word of God then transition together to the 11:00 service to worship as a family. The momentum was strong at the beginning of the fall, but as time went on, we had fewer and fewer attend the Biblical Discipleship hour. As we evaluated how the fall services had gone, we recognized this loss of momentum. We felt that part of the problem was the competition between the 9:30 service and BDH. Asking families to come an hour and a half early for worship to participate in the education hour was a stretch even for the most stalwart especially with school, sports, and other weekly activities also making demands. In answer, beginning in February, we are going to implement a one-service model at 10:00 with a fellowship / coffee time from 11:00-11:30, followed by Biblical Discipleship Hour from 11:30-12:15. We hope this will facilitate a few different things. (1) A return to the summer worship schedule will reunite all of us into a single worshipping body; a better reflection of our unity in Christ (Ephesians 4:3). (2) Competition between a 9:30 service and BDH will be eliminated; it is more palatable deciding simply to stay after the service than expend the effort required to come early. (3) The worship team will have an extra half hour of prep and could also participate in BDH if they choose. (4) Pastor Tom, having to preach only once, will be free to participate, teach, and be more actively involved in the discipleship element on Sunday morning as well. The one downside is for the staff and volunteers regularly serving our kids in LTA (coinciding with worship). If things continue as they are, they would be unable to participate in the worship service. To facilitate their participation, we will need a rotation of volunteers who are willing to serve our kids one or perhaps two Sundays per month. Would you be willing to regularly serve on a rotation? We pray that this structure will better serve the vision the Lord has given us. If you have any questions or concerns, please email, call, text, or visit me on site during office hours. May God our Father bless us richly through the unity of the Holy Spirit as members of his only Son, Jesus Christ! Jeridan Dyck Pastor of Family Ministries and Outreach jeridan@tccwayland.org (406)849-0675
By Tom Petter 31 Aug, 2023
Guiding Principles for the Ministry Year 2023-24 Trinitarian Congregational Church Ministry Theme: “Are You Ready?” This probing question is based on the Gospel of Matthew, which we will cover in our Sunday morning services both in the Fall and Spring terms. Jesus challenges us to move from a ‘spectator’ role (self-satisfied and ‘comfortable’) to an active ‘participant’ role in the discipleship experience. ‘Un-discipled’ disciples (Pastor Pete James’ phrase) fail to persevere, disengage with the Word and therefore mute the witness of Christ to our neighbors. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus challenges our priorities and calls us to new levels of readiness. Readiness both in the now (“come unto me”) and readiness for the future. Matthew 24:44 captures the theme well: “Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” Our goal for this ministry theme (reached upon as a team at our summer staff retreat at Toah Nipi Camp) is that TCC Life Groups would commit to the study of Matthew at some point during this ministry year to apply the urgency to be ready: the urgency to witness to our neighbors both in sharing the good news of forgiveness of sins and through acts of compassion. The prayerful outcome, by God’s power, is to see the multiplication of new believers during this ministry year at TCC. “This Gospel of the Kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world, as a testimony to all nations, then the end will come” (Matthew 24:14). Growth through Biblical Discipleship Hour at 9:30am on Sundays To foster family-rooted discipleship, we are implementing new Biblical Discipleship Hour programs at 9:30am on Sundays for middle school and high school students, as well as for adults. Following is a description of the new program: Last words are important! Jesus’s last words to his eleven disciples in Matthew are this, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20). In keeping with the Great Commission, our Mission Statement, “To Be and Make Disciples” is critical. Accordingly, we are implementing an important teaching/training hour on Sunday mornings, 9:30am to 10:30am, for disciples of all ages and stages. We will hold two separate sessions during the hour upstairs in the main church building. Jeridan and Erin Dyck will supervise one session geared for our younger disciples. Donna Petter will supervise one session geared for older disciples. On certain occasions we will offer combined classes! Teachers and mentors from our own community will contribute weekly to the program. As we journey with Jesus, we must “learn” what walking with him entails. Our focus will be fourfold: defining discipleship, the demands of a disciple, the decisions of a disciple, and developing disciples. These overlapping categories will allow us to address important topics from a biblical worldview. These broad categories also permit us to have combined teaching sessions (at times) with younger disciples in our midst. Growth through Outreach Our identity as a sending church means we are committed to evangelism (proclaiming that Jesus is Lord and Savior) to our neighbors across the street. In addition to existing opportunities (Bridge House in Framingham), 2023-24 is the year to create new outreach programs under the pastoral guidance of our new Pastor of Family Ministries and Outreach, Jeridan Dyck. The Send mobilization conference (September 16 at BU’s Agganis Arena) officially launches our efforts to participate in evangelistic outreach in MetroWest. Collaboration among local churches is a critical dimension of The Send's vision and TCC is actively participating in this movement. Growth through Worship The 2023-24 ministry year marks the launch of our new permanent worship team with the recent hiring of Mia Hustad as Worship Leader. Alex Kouris serves as worship coordinator, Karen Johnson as seasonal choir director, and Charlie Orr as our organist. Mia is forming a core team of volunteers with the goal of a weekly practice in addition to Sunday morning practice. Mia and Alex’s vision calls for an anointed family worship hour representing the highest quality of Christian worship from the standpoint of performance and the adoration and praise of the Living God. Our goal for the year is to see new families join the church as our experience of God through worship grows both in Word and Spirit. Growth through Men’s Discipleship Programming This fall we are re-launching our men’s ministry program with a new name: Don’t Walk Alone. We will gather September 17 for a hike, bonfire, some grilling and some much-needed fellowship among the men at TCC. The goal is to foster an atmosphere of openness and transparency in sharing the struggles common to men so that we feel supported in our disconnected and isolated culture. Boundary and Accountability Principles The Board, committees, Senior Pastor, Pastoral and support staff, and the congregation as a whole come under the accountability structures established in the TCC By-Laws of 2010. We are all accountable to the Lordship of Christ and His Word. In Christ, the Judgment of the Last Day has already come to us as “righteous” (2 Corinthians 5:21). Also, we will all have to give an account on that Day as to what we did in the body in our justified state (2 Corinthians 5:10), whether we were zealous for good works or not (Titus 2:11-14). Theme Song for 2023-24 – “New Wine” by Hillsong Worship In the crushing In the pressing You are making new wine In the soil I now surrender You are breaking new ground So I yield to You into Your careful hand When I trust You I don't need to understand Make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus bring new wine out of me In the crushing In the pressing You are making new wine In the soil I now surrender You are breaking new ground You are breaking new ground So, make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today So, make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be God, I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Sing that again, like me Make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be God, I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Oh, Jesus, bring new wine out of me, oh Jesus Jesus, bring new wine out of me (it means we're getting back on the altar) We're saying we surrender everything, Lord Bring new wine out of me, Jesus Jesus, bring new wine (keep going) out of me (Jesus) Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today Where there is new wine 'Cause where there is new wine There is new power There is new freedom And the Kingdom is here I lay down my old flames To carry Your new fire today So, I say make me Your vessel Make me an offering Make me whatever You want me to be I came here with nothing But all You have given me Jesus, bring new wine out of me, Jesus Jesus, bring new wine out of me Jesus, bring new wine out of me Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Brooke Gabrielle Fraser New Wine lyrics © Hillsong Publishing, Hillsong Music Publishing Australia
By Jen Calverley 24 Aug, 2023
Introducing: Biblical Discipleship Hour Last words are important! Jesus’s last words to his eleven disciples in Matthew are this: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:19-20). In keeping with the Great Commission our Mission Statement, “To Be and Make Disciples” is critical. Accordingly, we are implementing an important teaching/training hour on Sunday mornings, 9:30am to 10:30am, for disciples of all ages and stages. We will hold two separate sessions during the hour upstairs in the main church building. Jeridan and Erin Dyck will supervise one session geared for our younger disciples. Donna Petter will supervise one session geared for older disciples. On certain occasions we will offer combined classes! Teachers and mentors from our own community will contribute weekly to the program. As we journey with Jesus we must “learn” what walking with him entails. Our focus will be fourfold: defining discipleship, the demands of a disciple, the decisions of a disciple, and developing disciples. These overlapping categories will allow us to address important topics from a biblical worldview. These broad categories also permit us to have combined teaching sessions (at times) with younger disciples in our midst. P.S. Please identify yourself as a potential teacher or mentor for the program! Take a step of faith and communicate with me if you feel tugged in this direction. I would love to help you discern. Warmly, Donna Petter donna@tccwayland.org
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